My Daily Nugget: Visitation Rights and Lefts!

So my brother-in-law and his girlfriend had a baby yesterday. A boy...cute kid. I went to visit them in the hospital last night and I don't know if it's just me, but I'm very uncomfortable visiting people in the hospital. Hospitals in general just freak me out and unless a limb is broken or I need serious medical attention, there's really little chance of ever getting me in that place. So hanging out there talking to someone strung out on meds and sprawled across a craftmatic adjustable bed is not my idea of a good time. I don't know why that is. I myself have never been in a hospital bed where people needed to come visit me so I don't know what it's like. However, I do know that staring at someone like they're the sucker fish for an hour is not comfortable for me and I can only assume it's no swinging good time for them either. I just don't understand the point of it. I know with a baby it's different because you want to see the newborn, no problem. But when someone is ill or just coming out of surgery, why do we need to visit these people while they are recuperating? Do we really need to see them all messy, stinky, half nude and drugged up just to find out how they are doing and show our support? You can get the same message across with a phone call and sending flowers or a gift basket without the uncomfortable feeling of having to gawk at a pee bucket. Lord knows if I'm ever in that situation I would not want anyone stopping by to chit chat or see how I was doing. You wanna know how I am, call me. If I'm well enough to acknowledge that you're in the room, I'm well enough to talk on the phone. I mean chances are I want to be alone anyway. I get to sleep, watch TV, play with the remote control bed....all kinds of stuff......and then there's the sponge baths!!! Come on don't bug me if I'm there, the damn doctors, nurses and candy stripers will be doing that enough as it is.

So in closing I just want to make one thing perfectly clear. Just because I don't come see your cathetered self all hopped up on goofy pills doesn't mean I don't care....surprisingly I do. Just get well, get out, and let's drink some beers....besides what kind of pussy are you anyway going to the hospital? Take care of yourself like a real man! Practicing self surgery should be common place. Deal with it!!!

Toodles.......

I Hate Technology....

Seriously I do!! I mean I see all these new gadgets and computer based things that look like they would make life so much simpler and easier for me, but they don't. I guess my life isn't that complicated that I need a state of the art gizmo to simplify it, but even the basic new wave crap seems to make me want to hang myself with a mouse cord. I recall when the internet was new and useful. Back in the early to mid nineties I could do anything on a computer. Email...no problem! Search engine.....cake! Save to a floppy....with my eyes closed! But now everything is CDR, CDRW, format type, burn, rip, usb port, mp 3 file, surf watch, adware, spyware, underwear........AAAAGGGGHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I can't handle it! My old computer was a piece of crap and wouldn't even turn on, much like most things I touch. So I bought a state of the art Dell last spring. Complete with CD and DVD burners that would make my life easier and more enjoyable.......Ahem! So here I am a year later and I have yet to burn anything. My computer is so bogged down with every kind of virus, worm, spam, and STD that it would make a Brazilian brothel look like a surgery ward. I don't get it. For the money I paid shouldn't I just be able to turn it on, click on internet and go somewhere without getting hit with 45 pop ups about wiener pills and bearded lady men??

This past weekend I bought my wife an MP3 player. I figured out that it's a little machine (about the size of a lighter) that can hold up to 60 songs. Apparently you have to down load, or up load, or blow a load, I don't know, songs from your computer into this device. Sounds like fun! Now I know it can be done because I see people using them and they look like they are enjoying themselves and appear that it has made their life easier some how....so why not me??? I'm simple, I know, but not that simple! I can program my VCR, I can operate heavy machinery....it's these damn light weight ones that are pissing me off!!!!!

So anyway, I hate technology and all the voice activated and cyber space bullshit that goes with it. I hate my cell phone, I hate my computer, and I hate my remote control with the 752 buttons that I don't use!!!