OK, It's from my dog, alright? The black eye I have right now, is from my dog. So everybody can stop asking me how it happened and who kicked my ass. Trust me I'd much rather say some guy beat the tar out of me then say my puppy beat me up! Excited jumping dog's head meets unsuspecting owners face while leaning over....and for those of you who are counting, that's the second black eye she's given me this year!!
So I guess you know what the bulk of the bar conversation was about last night. And I thought Tuesdays and Thursdays sucked donkey dick!!! Wednesday's are even worse. Some lame-ass hippie one man band was the entertainment and I swear if he wasn't trying to kill me with boredom he was trying to turn me gay with his song selection. At one point I momentarily contemplated giving the bar back a reach around....EWWWWW.
Nothing good happened. I told some skateboarder punk he had to pull his pants up since they were hanging below his ass and I was sick of seeing his fruity boxers. I know it agitated him and he verified that an hour later when he and his drunken idiot friends toasted a shot to the guy in the corner making sure everyone's pants were up! I thought about getting pissed at that, but it was actually really funny. A few minutes later Missy, the bartender, told me the fat guy at the bar has the same name as her gynecologist. I didn't know what to do with that information and since she could tell I was uncomfortable with this news, she took the liberty to explain to me the process of a pap smear.....OK, THAT'S IT...I'm going back to my corner!
The best part of the night was at the very end when Missy made some comment about, "lights on or lights off" and the drunken lonely Chinese man sitting behind her leaped to his feet and screamed, "Was that some vague 'wax on, wax off' reference?" "I try so hard to find a bar where I can hang out and people do not make fun of yellow people but NOOOOOOOO, you guys are just the same as everyone else. Everyone hates yellow people!" I was laughing so hard at this but managed to respond, "Hey, I love the Simpsons!" Which seemed to get a good reaction out of him. Oh god I love Orientals!!!
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