Old Man vs Fat Fuck....

So Mr. The Fucking Giant was challenged to a mano-a-mano full on bar fight Sunday night by a man I can only describe as someone I'd expect to see teaching a high school physics class. During the Colts-Ravens Sunday night game I heard the bartender call my name and noticed him pointing at 2 gentlemen squaring off at the bar. One of the guys, who was sitting down, is a regular and a pretty big guy, nice man too. The other was the aforementioned grey haired daddy-o. I get between them and forearm the old man in the chest and back him away. The other guy says calmly, "Yurrie, get this guy out of here before I kick his ass." You got it fella and I point towards the door and tell Grandpa to get out. He starts walking and half way there turns back and waves for the other guy to meet him outside. I now become angry because I always intend to be nice at first, and it pisses me off when people don't do what I tell them when I can clearly beat the living shit of them. (That's what Patrick Swayze did in Road House) So I grab him, push him towards the door, and said, "Get the fuck out". He spins around and responds, "You can't tell me what to do." "Funny", I said, "I just did. Now get the fuck out." And I pushed him through the first set of doors. Now, Old Man River gets angry and tells me he's going to kick my ass. I tell him ok then take a swing. He declines requesting that I take a swing. (Now I've been to court before for situations like this and I know that unless this guy makes some kind of threatening move towards me I really can't haul off and lay him out....plus he's hammered and like 65) Standing in between 2 sets of doors he sets himself and tells me I'm just a fat fuck and he'll kick my ass and motions for me to "bring it". Now I know I'm no super model and could certainly benefit from losing a few pounds but in no way would I call myself a fat fuck. I didn't even look that fat that night. So I respond, "No, that's not going to happen, now get the fuck out of my bar", and with that I launched him through the second set of doors out onto the sidewalk and walk back inside. I see him get back up and put his dukes up like the Notre Dame Fighting Irish logo and motion for me to come outside. The guy sure was persistent. I waived back to him and blew him a kiss for good measure before he gave up and staggered to his car. I kept thinking how bad it would have looked if I drilled the guy. I mean I'm no Mike Tyson but I know if I would have hit the guy, especially in his state, he would have been down and out in between the doors, and that would have caused me more pain then pleasure.

Now that incident is coming off the heels of Saturday night's incident. Some kid, who I totally hate and would love to beat the snot out of, was being a dick. He was the last guy in the place and me, being the nice guy that I am, was telling him he had to finish his drink and leave or I was taking it from him. He made some comment about how it would not be good for me. I didn't really understand it and I asked him if he wanted to try and make it not good for me. He ended up walking out but as he left he stuck his head back in the door and screamed that I suck dick before running away. This didn't even make me mad. The guy comes in all the time so I know I'll easily see him this week and I will approach him about it. I'm still considering how much of a scene I want to make out of it....stay tuned....

One other point of note. The stupid home schooled girl, I wrote about earlier, thought on Friday night that it would be a good idea to drink all the alcohol in the bar, and then in an act of kindness, share that alcohol with the floor and walls of the ladies room. Now I had just found out that not only was she dumb and home schooled but she was also a total whore. This might sound like the makings of a wonderful girl had she not look like a guy and dress like a homeless crack head. So therefore I took great joy in seeing her get escorted outside and fall down in the parking lot! HA! That's what you get for not laughing at my jokes WHORE!