Sometimes the Deaf are the Envied....

Oh the sounds of mountain goats butt fucking at midnight would have been a welcomed noise compared to what I had to endure last night. Was that singing or were we just broadcasting diarrhea queefs through feedback for 5 hours??? I couldn't tell and none of the butter knives at arms length were sharp enough to break the skin.

The highlight of the night was a tall spastic homo dressed in a 1970's red and pink butterfly collar 3 piece suit. This guy was a show all to himself and I told the owner to just hire him for a night and sit back. This guy took the stage and I almost shit a barracuda I was laughing so hard. Not only did he sing the gayest songs possible but he bumped, grinded and convulsed in a fruity style all his own. He looked like 40 pounds of shit in a zip lock bag. And I loved every second of him! The best part was he showed up by himself and worked the crowd like he were running for mayor.....better be a mayor in Oregon, Flame Boy!!!

Random event of the night: We have a new Hispanic waitress, who's actually pretty cute. She must have finished up her shift and changed because out of nowhere she came running through the backdoors, like she were the Ultimate Warrior or some shit, dressed in a little skimpy outfit. Ran up onto the stage and sang some provocative Spanish number while she did some crazy salsa dance and touched herself. The place went silent and all eyes were on this little chimichanga. I was so confused. Not only did I not know who she was, where she came from, or what she was saying, but neither did anybody else in the place. She finished up, grabbed a gym bag and ran out the front door waiving to people. I still have no clue what to make of that! My guess is she's a drug smuggler and had to get across the border before the bags ruptured in her anal cavity and she had just enough time to perform one jaw dropping Shakira act to throw the locals off her trail before getting back to the mule work. Sounds reasonable to me, but then again I'm a fucking idiot!

Next weekend....Mechanical Bull Riding returns!!!! Stay tuned....