Wasted Humor....

So I show up last night and the usual is going on.... not much action. The Ravens were playing their final pre-season game of the season and not many fans showed up to watch, and I can't blame them. Who wants to watch a bunch of 3rd stringers and talentless scrubs trying to make the team? I mean half these guys will be bagging groceries next week, so why should I care about what they do in a meaningless football game. Plus I hate the Ravens and the majority of their bandwagon moronic fans, but that's another story!

Here's the skinny on the evenings activity. I wouldn't let 2 brothas in because they were dressed too thuggish. Even though the place was empty, I felt like being confrontational and decided to bust their balls about their attire. I told the first guy who had the gold fronts, that he couldn't come in because of his outfit. He asked what was wrong with it and I replied, "You can't wear those shorts in here." Pretty lame I know, but that is in the dress code. More or less you can't look like a dirt bag, thug, gangster, or any form of trouble. They leave and then promptly return where he asks, "Yo Man, I see all dem people right dere wearin shorts, why can't I wear shorts?". I said, "You can wear shorts in here, you just can't wear THOSE shorts in here!" He looked a bit confused and then walked out...again without confrontation. Doesn't anybody like to argue anymore???

Later on 4 Army guys came in and were kind of being loud and obnoxious and were becoming a pain. They had pissed off both bartenders and 2 groups of girls already because their miserable attempts at picking them up were...well miserable. As they left, the head dick head stopped by these 2 girls, where I happened to be standing, and stated, "I've been in the military for 12 years and have fought in Iraq to give you folks the right to sit here right now, and this is how I get treated!?!" This severely pissed me off so I did like any guy in that situation would do....I lied. "Who cares, I was a Navy Seal for 6 years, go fuck yourself!" He stumbled out without a response. The 2 girls then questioned the validity of my statement where I confessed it was a lie. I got a big kick out of it....like usual I was the only one.

Throughout the night, as people were coming in and giving me their ID, I would explain to them that it is Karaoke night and ask them what song they were going to sing. When they told me they weren't singing I would tell them that it's a 1 song minimum. Not funny I know, but one girl asked me when I was going to sing and I told her I already did my song. When she asked what song it was I told her it was an opera. HA! I still think that's funny...she chuckled...I'm lame....

More wasted humor.... Towards the end of the night I was chatting with a regular who always shoots pool. She told me she grew up in the area but was home schooled. I thought that was pretty cool and responded, "Wow, I've never met anyone who was home schooled before. What was your school mascot?" Silence...and she repeated, "No, I was home schooled." I said, "I know, what was your school mascot?" Fully expecting her to get the joke the second time she just gave me a pained expression and I said, "You didn't get the Joke." "No, I get it.....", she said. "No, no you don't", I responded and ended the conversation. I absolutely hate wasted humor. Come on!!!! I'm bored!!!! I'm being funny!!!! Throw me a fricking bone!!!!!